Doggie Do-gooder Gifts

'This way I keep the law and don't get grossed out.'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

"Pssst. Fake poop."

"Humans are strange."

"Me? I have a strong urge to devote my life to making the world a better place for all humanity."

'He followed me home. Can I keep him?'

"He's starting to flag a bit"

'I try and humour him...it's the only exercise he gets!'

'I'm detoxing - do you have any mineral water?'

"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"

"I guess people want dogs with no problems. Lucky for me, all I've got is quirks."

'Making virtue its own reward isn't EITHER a cop-out!'

'All of your previous employers said you are very loyal.'

"I got you some flowers..watered them, too.".

"The dog is developing quicker than me."

'Will work for tummy rub.'

"The best thing is he works without WiFi or a data plan."

"Seems like all of Nancy’s nonprofit work is going to her head."

"I didn't say he was housebroken. I said he broke up the house."

Angel in heaven walking a dog that is peeing off of a cloud

"So far, I've taught him to fetch."

"I can't hear you. Are you playing with the dog again?"

'I would love to play in your tree-house, but I can't climb trees...'

"It's just that your acts of kindness are so random."

'Sorry I Ate the Cookies Last Year.'

A dog biscuit

"My dog is NOT a child substitute. Not according to his headmaster anyway."

'I can't stay mad at him, especially when he scratches me behind the ears.'

"He calls it an 'accident' but you and I both know that was no accident."

"I've no idea what breed he is but he's very loyal."

"Yes, we're a charity tackling skyrocketing income inequality, but we're also a charity that should be saying 'I love my billionaire finder.'"