Dogged Chef Pillows

"The vet said if he's not eating I should warm up his dog food a little.'

Raw food, after you leave for work.

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

Dog Food

"Pretty good dog, huh, Larry?"

Homemade dog biscuits.

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

"We need to put in more bones."

Recipes.

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

"So, what's it to be, chicken unfit for human consumption, or beef unfit for human consumption?"

'That's not exactly what I had in mind.'

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

"Let's see . . . I detect beef . . . peas . . . and a subtle hint of sweet potato!"

'I was hoping chef's surprise would be fish'

'Fruits, vegetables, meat, eggs and cooked beans! He gets a better dinner than I do!'

"As a dog he's incredible. As a chef he's just okay."

"What smells so good? -- I'm not cooking for you, but for my dog."

"I had to bite him once, but now I always get a great table."

'It's the Animal Welfare people about you feeding leftovers to the dog!'

'See what happens when you let him cook.'

"I need some assistance here."

"Generally I recommend chuck, but since your collie has a pedigree...sirloin."

'Feeding dog food to dogs is NOT ethnic stereotyping!'

"If we list it now, you could be eating filet mignon every night for the rest of your life!"

'I hope your 'kittycat gourmet delight' tastes better than my 'doggy sirloin supreme!''

Cooking shows for dogs

'Patience. Gentle mixing awakens the delicate flavors and presents far more agreeably than straight-out-of-the-can.'