Canine Chef Supporter Pillows

"Pretty good dog, huh, Larry?"

Raw food, after you leave for work.

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

Dog Food

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

"We need to put in more bones."

Dog Chow Mein

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

Homemade dog biscuits.

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

"So, what's it to be, chicken unfit for human consumption, or beef unfit for human consumption?"

Dog Food Pyramid. Meat. Scraps.

Recipes.

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

'You're lucky you can't read.'

"Let's see . . . I detect beef . . . peas . . . and a subtle hint of sweet potato!"

Posh dog views expensive food and wine.

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

'I was hoping chef's surprise would be fish'

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

'Sure, it's a nice buffet, but I can't help thinking it's a bit morbid...'

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?"

"As a dog he's incredible. As a chef he's just okay."

John envied his friends who worked at the local chocolate company

Death of the cook

Dog Food: Lick & Collect

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'Of course you have a choice. You can have it in your bowl...or on the floor...what's it to be, Mister Choosey?'

"I think I'll go for the Barf Bits du Jour."

"I've got a complaint about the table scraps you are feeding me...cut down on the fatty tissues...I'm gaining weight!"

"I need some assistance here."

"The vet said if he's not eating I should warm up his dog food a little.'