Dog Trainer's Delight T-Shirts

'It took me a long time to teach him to fetch the newspaper.'

They trained him to play dead. I think it's some sort of insurance scam!

Go get it! Good boy! I'm more motivated by carrots than by sticks!

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

"I'm sorry that Ted ever taught him to smoke. It's costing us a fortune!"

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

Obedience School Graduation

Pavlov's Puppy

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

"But this time, Lucky, when I throw the ball... you bring it back!"

"I got you some flowers..watered them, too.".

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

My dog is an honor student at the Curtis Obedience School.

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

"Hold on! Baxter's trying to tell us something..." "The kitchen is on fire"

'Eat boy, eat!... I taught him that one myself.'

Boring Pianist

"He would rather die than salivate!"

'Well, at least he doesn't beg at the table.'

'Watch this... I have him trained to give me a treat every time I shake his hand.'

'Tell me again why we are afraid of chairs.'

Puppy school vs. kitten school

Enable your dog to finish the pursuit of the squirrel...Teach your dog how to easily uncork the wine...They can prepare your taxes for you.....and feed themselves.

'Like I was saying, Angus, I'm the master, you're the dog.'

Sean Connery's Dog Training School

"I thought you were teaching him to fetch, not kvetch."

"What don't you understand about 'fetch'?"

"If I say I need to go out, I need to go out."

'It's great that they taught you CPR, but I wish they'd also given you breath mints.'

'It's ironic: I was employed to beg by an organ grinder, and now, I beg because I'm unemployed...'

What do animal trainers do?

"Goodness gracious no, I didn't go to a public puppy-school: I went to an elite private puppy-school..."

'Yes, the training here is very thorough!'

'I've finally gotten him to come when I call.'