Dog Listener Pillows

'Time-outs might have more meaning when I learn to tell time.'

Audio Books

Try me/try me/try me...

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

'It's true what they say, you really can hear the sea in these things!'

I can hear a podcast of yesterday's sea.

Which Hogwarts house are you?

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

'There you go again - trying to solve my problems. I am not asking you to do that. I just want you to listen to me.'

"Go ahead. Tell me your troubles. I promise to say 'Awww' in all the right places."

Attention Span Man

Psychiatrist with bartending diploma

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

"Boy, the Reverend sure has your number."

'Music hath charms,' &c.

Cover story: Plant World.

"The Doctor is just wonderful!! He listens to all my irrelevant, boring stories!"

'The cow mooed, the pig oinked, the chicken clucked, I baaed and then we adjourned.'

"They're dumbing down the news now!"

'The pastor is the one who tells all the kids to be quiet and sit down.'

"I'll knock 10% off this session as I wasn't really listening."

"If you think I talk too much, you should come right out say so! That way we can talk about it."

"Doctor, I find you very easy to talk to."

Science Applied to Art

'She doesn't know that listening is not the same as mentally rehearsing her answers.'

"Repetitive strain injury?...theres a lot of it about."

"I'm a pastor. My job is to speak 20 minutes on Sunday and listen the rest of the week."

'The date was going well... until Lenny decided to eat his own vomit.'

The herd of hearing.

Harold finally decided to take his psychiatrist's advice to become more receptive.