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'He has fleas... sheds, and his breath stinks.'

"Shake! Good Dog."

Dog wearing a cone

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

Balloon dog training

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

When Dogs Appear To Be Thinking.

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

Cuthbert was a pit of a party animal

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

'The pats on the head are nice, but I need more compensation...'

"Get a life."

'Forget about marriage conselling: Me, I sent Max to Obedience School instead...'

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

"So the old man says 'you're getting fixed,' and I'm thinkin', you know, maybe he's gonna patch up the hole in my doghouse..."

'That's the problem with Dacshunds, you can never tell whether they're coming or going.'

"You hit the ball- that's ping. Your opponent hits the ball- that's pong!"

"You say: It's nothing more than jealousy inspired backstabbing. I say: It's the fourth report of butt-sniffing I've had this week."

Dog sees venus fly trap catch a fly and copies it...

House with 'Dog For Sale' sign. Cat walks by holding 'Good Riddance' sign.

"Go on. Throw the stick."

'Oh goody, chunky soup!'

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

'Tell me this isn't celery.'

'I know I should be thankful I have a good home, but if he talks baby talk to me one more time, I swear I'll go for his throat.'

"I promise I won’t get upset. Just tell me why you chewed up her Chanel pumps."

"And have various, random strangers scratch behind your ears four times daily."

"Trust me, catching it isn't that satisfying."