Animal Joke Lovers T-Shirts

"Guess what! I didn't even know I was broken but tomorrow I'm gonna get 'fixed!'"

Christmas presents! Reindeer poo!

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

"Hurry up, I'm hungry."

'Knuth! How many times did I tell you not to play with the food??!!'

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

Rogue elephant

"Try to blame that one on the dog."

The continuing adventures of Rex, Washington DC insider.

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

"We've done it Agnes. We're living the dream."

'Leap frog? No thanks- I'm a toad.'

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

'Scary movie?'

I loved Venice: So many statues to perch upon and people to feed you...

Penguin kid to parents: 'Big deal! You're grounding me!'

'My mother was a real bitch!'

"I'm not concerned about us as long as there is nothing in the stimulus package for cats."

'Hang on. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Apparently that's not a good idea.'

Swine flu

Hog Futures

Pavlov's Dog, Ph.D.

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

"Don't panic Daisy dear. You can relax your buttocks, it's not the vet, it's the chimney sweep."

Oh look, Marv - We're just in time for the running of the fools!