Dog-foodie Fusion Gifts

"First rules of chef school: no serving table scraps, and if food falls on the floor, leave it."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

"Can I have a doggie bag to go?"

"I can never remember, how much do we tip?"

Dog Chow Mein

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

'-and I suppose you want chips with it?'

"Will you all please bow your heads for the reading of the menu."

'Sure, it's a nice buffet, but I can't help thinking it's a bit morbid...'

Posh dog views expensive food and wine.

"You want fries with that Chardonnay?"

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"

"How could I refuse to share with a best friend!"

"Some dehydrated corn and bone meal for the gentleman, perhaps?"

I got a dish, but it only picks up the Food Channel.

"We keep getting billed from DoorDash. Who here has been ordering all this food?"

'We're at an Italian restaurant this time, Kevin -- those are breadsticks, not giant-size chopsticks.'

"Wait! I forgot the garnish."

"We'll be needing a high chair for spot."

The Doggie Psychic

"I had to do something with all of that casserole."

"Have you got a book about the proper way of feeding a dog?"

"I'll have whatever I'm hearing being opened in the kitchen."

"The meal was superb...My compliments to the shep."

Dog Chopsticks

"I'll have what she's having."

'Rusty, I promise...next time I'll buy only Beef Bits.'

Lost dog...responds to an electric can opener.

'Tired of dry dry dog food? Stir-fried doggy dips will make you sit up and woof for more!'