Dog Family Humorist Gifts

'They sure have small litters.'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"No no, I said sit!!"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"I'm working from home today."

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.