Dog Date Pillows

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Polly txt speak

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

Romance

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

Why we need poetry. . .

Carbon Dating.

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

'Super Dog'

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

"Bad dog."

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

"First date hairball... awkward."

An historic event in Candyland: When M met M

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

Romance

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"She's just being Koi."

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

Asking out a palm reader.

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"