Documentary Watcher Gifts

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

"Hello Cleveland! I have to say, never thought I'd have a Netflix special seeing as Gerbils only live about 3 to 4 years!"

Elephant with bumper stickers

'Not again!...Couldn't we watch 'Big Brother' just for a change?'

"Of course it's a rerun...it's a history channel."

"Which do you enjoy more. . . the chase or ripping their throats out?"

Joan Hickson

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

Live Stream

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"Oh, come on! Nobody brought a pen?"

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

Next camera crew 5 mins

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

The following wildlife film is sponsored in part by a grant from...Mother Nature Foundation.

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

Police film evidence

They're watching a documentary about safety razors. Sounds like a Schick flick!

Kirsten Johnson

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

Cinéma Vérité

Michael Moore creates a UK equivalent of Fahrenheit 9/11

'Come on, you're telling me that you don't watch the Discovery Channel.'

A typical Monday. Zombie truck driving maniacs! South Pole penguin love! That's a stupid eco-friendly chick documentary! Insipid, mindless, violent, zombie crud! Negotiations commence, nearly a week before date night. Wimp! Blockbuster head!

A penguin's life is like endless summer camp, swimming and fishing all day every day!

Top Secret/Middle Secret/Bottom Secret

"Ugh! Stop making a drama documentary out of a molehill."

A bunch of global warming skeptics want to join eco club. It's a school organization. You have to let them in. But they just want to harass us with selective facts! Today: Eco club. So? Debate is good. You have :An Inconvenient Truth" to counter their arguments. Oh. Great. Now we'll have to read it.

'Every TV show seems to have a lucrative phone-in competition these days.'

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'