Documentary Film Buff T-Shirts

"I'll fire up the Franklin stove and put in a Ken Burns film. You pick out a nice port from the wine cellar."

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

Police film evidence

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

The following wildlife film is sponsored in part by a grant from...Mother Nature Foundation.

Kirsten Johnson

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

Cinéma Vérité

"Ugh! Stop making a drama documentary out of a molehill."

"But what's my motivation?"

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

Diana Inquest - 'It's time to move on, and start making a TV mini-series of her life.'

A fly on the wall documentary.

'If whales are so intelligent, why do they swim near Japan?'

'I'm freezing...The rich list is a little thin this year.'

"Wow, I was in a documentary film with Ron and Valerie Taylor too! Aren't they great?!"

"Nothing like the History Channel to get you to appreciate these peaceful times we're enjoying."

"What do you suppose Ken Burns will have to say about all this in 30 years?"

'Great! So that's the film... Now for the sound!'