Document Defender T-Shirts

"I'm glad my agent persuaded me to get flood insurance and keep all my important documents together."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

Privacy Conference Security

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

Privacy - Surveillance

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

'Jeff is a tackle on his online college football team.'

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

'I have created the first interactive pile of paperwork.'

"Hack back with all you've got!"

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

Workers are running out of one door labeled 'Reactive Business Intelligence,' while another worker in the next room sits calmly behind a door with a sign that reads, 'Proactive Business Intelligence.'

Things that go beep in the night.

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

'Your proposal sounds interesting. Can you send me a written proposal? I cannot reread a phone call.'

"That didn't work either! I'm telling you, this is one AGGRESSIVE virus!"

"Are you sure you updated the anti-virus software?"

Records?

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

"They're worse than carpenter ants. We have hacker ants."

A man looking at a piece of art through a phone camera

"We need a better piling system."

'I have the MRI scan of your brain. The right hemisphere is clogged with computer passwords.'

'We have to be forthright with the public. We have to have their confidence. We have to convince them we're working for the common good. Then we can invade their privacy.'

Bob soon began to hate his new anti-spam software.

"No, I'm not writing a short story. That's my password."

'Gimme all your cache!'