Doctor-slayer Visionary Gifts

"BACK FIEND! Take your damned bill and go back from whence you came!"

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

Giant slug attacks a city

"I'm afraid your Apple goggles aren't compatible with your X brain implant."

Creativity

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

'The future of medicine' "It's genomics." "I'd say proteins." "Same as always: economics."

'You can't help but wonder what this will do to the market.'

"We've managed to cut down the 16 pills you're taking to just one!"

Corporate pirate.

'It's only a slug Norman.'

Doctor sits near work boxes labelled; 'NHS' and 'Private'.

Fake News

"There was a system failure that caused a brief crash, but fortunately I was able to reboot."

The strong corna war

"No, don't take us to your politicians - we're searching for intelligent life."

"After a long day at school, it's nice just to come home, kick back and outrun a horde of bloodthirsty zombies."

"Anything but a head shot only angers an attorney."

"One day, son, all this will be yaws."

"Nice igloo, but why isn't it melting?!"

'Willy, get me the pesticide! We've got zombies!'

Monthly Overhaul

Douglas Adams

"Your sermon had everyone at rapt attention. Good move cutting the church WiFi."

'What exactly is it you dislike about slugs, Mister Crabtree?'

'I think I can...'

'Look - the giant is dead! You got your cow back! Stop worrying about the loss of the bean crop!'

Headless Horseman Glasses

"I'd like to see your selection of blue lense glasses, please. Sitting in front of the computer with this welder's helmet is a bit much."

'Did you know the gardener also does hair?'

'Don't worry Hal, I think if you pour salt on them, they completely shrivel up.'

"You're second sighted."

"I'm not trying to sell you anything, sir. I'm doing market research, and all I ask is two or three hours of your time to answer a few thousand questions."

'I know Grimshaw! But I hate loose ends.'