Divorced Sibling Pillows

Just Divorced

"I don't believe it. That's my ex-wife."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

At the Museum

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

Boy and Bear and Monster

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

Toy plane with pilot eject.

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"First snowman?"

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

'Nope. I didn't see any dogfish.'

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

"You can build it with me, but you can't wreck it with me."

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

"It's an Eyesaur."

'Rock.' - 'Paper.' - 'Boris.'

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

"I don't care if you saw this in a western..."

Magnet School. A "magnet school"? Won't that mess up the computers?

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"