Divine Loophole Discoverer Pillows

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

I've found a loophole in your loophole

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

'Okay - who leaked?'

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

Newton's cradle

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

"No offence Jon, but..."

"Yes, we're a letterbox company. How can I help you?"

"Generally accepted accounting practices weren't as generally accepted as I thought."

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

"He's not our founder. He just found us the most tax loopholes."

"Your health insurance doesn't cover what you've got...so I'm diagnosing you with something they do cover."

'My client is requesting a little more wiggle room,your Honor.'

"It's what we agreed. I'd do the tax avoidance you'd do the tax evasion."

'I'm sorry, sir, but this particular loophole is only for the use of Federal employees.'

'Good thing your car was stationary when it hit me.'

God red cards Adam and Eve.

"To create the universe, hit the space bar."

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" "I can't respond to a hypothetical question."

Apostle shopping at 'Aeroapostle' Store.

"Please cut and paste these prayers to an other gods up there....just in case I've been following the wrong one."

'Does it come with any Apps'

'What's the pass-word?'

'Well, so much for the 'no new commandments' pledge!'

Today's lesson: the plague of darkness

'Might have a bit of a tinker with gravity . . .'

Express Checkout: One Basket Only.

'This is all very clever, Mr. Quigley, but there was a court ruling years ago that marriages can't be classified as non-profit organizations.'

"Every time I offer them an upgrade, they click on 'not now'."

'My lawyer says he's pretty sure this is police entrapment.'

"Hang on Gary, I think our Tracy's having an Epiphany!"

"Oops - a leftover piece. Where does this go? Should I toss it? Why did I even create an appendix?"

IRS Auditing, 10 loopholes or less.