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"For those of you visiting our church for the first time just raise your hand and our ushers will refresh your coffee."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

'You've had enough!'

'Okay - who leaked?'

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

Sermon on the Grounds...

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

Newton's cradle

The Ordered List

'We are gathered here...'

Monks play conkers with crucifix

Golfing with God.

'Put down the coffee mug. I forget what you look like.'

"I'm glad you like this new brand of coffee, Joni. The label said "fast-acting," but who knows what that means!"

"Blasphemy, yes, but it was funny."

'let's work with what we've got -- take a few of the more promising apes, and add some extra memory.'

Religious toilets.

'Regular coffee? What's regular coffee?'

'I knew I should've used the fluorescent golf balls.'

"I can't. You told him he could date after you came here."

An angel spinning the Vitruvian Man

Thanks God!

Rock Climber and Angel Selfie

Cowboy with saddle coffee holder.

"I like my coffee like my men: light and weak."

"And on the eighth day, the Lord just puttered around..." "That cloud doesn't belong there. Did I do that? I'd better move it..."

'I'm sorry but you obviously don't believe in God because you didn't forward the religious emails to 10 or more people in your address book.'

Moses parts water on the fairways.

A leap of faith.

"Please cut and paste these prayers to an other gods up there....just in case I've been following the wrong one."

'Does it come with any Apps'

'What you did was not only 'wrong' - it was 'wrongedy-wrong-wrong!''

Today's lesson: the plague of darkness

Adam and Eve: If not satisfied with products for any reason, please expel them from paradise.