Divine Gatekeeper Gifts

Gates of heaven

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"All we have left is standing room only."

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

To get past the gates of Heaven you have to now enter an internet style password

St Peter: 'The bike can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

'I miss the rarefied atmosphere of Mt. Olympus.'

"Hey, there's a spare key hidden under this cloud!"

'I suppose technically you're right. But we still prefer not to think of it as a gated community.'

"It was just a near-death experience, but while you're here, would you help me with this computer?"

Man at Heaven's gate with different college letter than St. Pete

God red cards Adam and Eve.

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

'Location, location, location.'

Doorman for the Three Little Pigs

'I assume you have paper work to back up all these time travel business expenses.'

'What's the pass-word?'

"Go on in. You're the first onslaught."

"Actually, I'm just the night manager here."

'I can't believe I locked my keys inside, again!'

"Hold on—I forgot to stamp your hand."

"I don't care if you are the invisible man, sir, I can't let you in if you're not wearing a tie!"

'Welcome to the ultimate bottom line.'

Julia Childs combats a growing rabbit population

Folsom Prison - A Gated Community

BEWARE OF THE GOD.

"I know it looks a little rough but we're having all the puffy stuff reupholstered this week."

Heaven: Terms and Conditions

'It's a cease and desist order. States that we can't keep anyone out. It's based on the ruling: The more the merrier.'

"There's a man here who wants to add insult to injury."

'No way you're getting in here with THAT mustache!'

"A counter offer? Really, sir?"

"It's a no-go area."