Divine Discussion Enthusiast Pillows

"Theologian? You guys are always fun."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"At least we agree to disagree."

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

"He really isn't bad, per se, but he is kind of a jerk."

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

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A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

"Of course I'm responsible for that marketing plan, but you're responsible for how it turned out!"

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"C'mon, Hillary – just answer the question!"

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

'Tell me about it, buddy... I completely understand where you're coming from.'

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

Opening arguments would begin after the intimidation round.

"I stand corrected..."

'If we have everlasting life, what about entropy?'

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

"I believe it because I believe it and that's how I know it's true."

"Our manifesto must offer a measured but devastating critique of flying."