Divine Creators Gifts

God's Writers Block

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Local News in Heaven

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"They have to clean her up before they show her to God."

The Ordered List

"I've been working on this project non-stop, twenty four-six!"

Vicar's driving lesson "Here endeth the first lesson!"

God creating the galaxy.

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

Heaven's Ingredients: 100% Natural Love, 100% compassion and 100% forgiveness.

'let's work with what we've got -- take a few of the more promising apes, and add some extra memory.'

"No, it's not a to-do lost."

'From creating stuff like this you make a LIVING?'

"Are you sure its supposed to look like that?"

"I hate his 'holier than thou' attitude."

God playing with dolls.

"How do you feel after six days of creating?"

'Last week's sermon was supposed to be about Plagues, but I got the flu.'

'Thirty-two feet per second squared, eh? -- that should hold them for awhile!:

"And on the eighth day, the Lord just puttered around..." "That cloud doesn't belong there. Did I do that? I'd better move it..."

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

Notice on back of bishop's gown - How's My Droving.

God creates a square world.

God creates Sahara Desert with sand mill

....And on the seventh day,god painted!

"I got the idea from a pair of dice."

'He's bringing glad-to-be-gay tidings.'

Angel Fishing

Angel

'Hey, it's Heaven, why wouldn't we cash in on that?'

'I'm afraid you've just missed him; he's having his appraisal.'

"I don't get it. I've prayed to God to get rich just like the televangelist told me. but nothing happened."

'Create Adam before Eve -- He'll need some time to clean up around there a little first.'

"Oh my god! Is nothing sacred."