Dividends T-Shirts

'Psst... Tell me about your 'obscene dividend' fund.'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

"I've always wanted an empire of Distance Learning Campuses."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

"Carrots just didn't get me going anymore, so I switched to chocolate instead..."

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

"I'll assume, then, my remarks have hit a responsive chord?"

"It's wonderful, Harry! How late does Neiman-Marcus stay open?"

The Ravages of Time: Marky Mark, circa 2043

'Is my allowance a form of income redistribution?'

'Psst. . . tell me about your 'obscene dividend' fund.'

Banker's Ecstasy - coming into some money.

'Isn't it how you learnt to swim?'

"Wow, you've got tons of loyalty points. Someone's a good boy!"

Blue Upright

'I can't keep up with technology. Just when I finally learned how to use the fax machine they come out with Internet faxing.'

'Hey, would you mind stirring your Ovaltine somewhere else?!'

'Ms. Booth, your portfolio is full of sound and fury signifying zero returns.'

'Just remember, Eddie, I've always viewed a big dividend as manna from heaven.'

"It wasn't until I discovered how much the upper one per cent were losing on dividends that I became a truly compassionate conservative."

"We got a problem, Mrs. Claus got the sleigh in the divorce."

"This is a computer rage management class. Road rage management is next door."

'My wife's left me for a man with more Nectar points...'

"What's the current dividend yield of IBM?..."

'What can you suggest for someone who guessed right on technology stocks?'

Fund manager greeting a man who has found a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.

"I've become a more effective teacher with 'distance learning'."

Haunted Castle

"Well, at least it is a dividend stock."

'. . .and may the dividends tomorrow be good . . .'

'The employees are angry because the company tennis courts are always busy!' 'LET THEM PLAY GOLF!'