Distraction Eliminator Gifts

Noise machines for dogs.

Pizza time.

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

'How are we supposed to think the unthinkable if we have to drink the drinkable?'

Net Zero Superstitions

The Keyboard

"That was bound to happen. Well, don't just stand there. Tell them you'll call back after you finish brushing your teeth."

Chiropodist is wearing a gas mask while treating a client.

'I'm sorry I didn't practice this week, Mrs. Tinklemeyer. I just had so many distractions!

"The minister has instructed us to get rid of 43% of meaningless targets in the next 43 days." "Could we start with that one?"

"You want my undivided attention? I don't think it exists."

"You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today."

'Think of the advantages of having a monster living under your bed! You won't have to clean because I'll scare all the dust bunnies away.'

The Environmental Protection Agency cranks it up a notch.

'I think he wants you to be quiet!'

"Zero emissions - I'm in EPA heaven."

Quarantine

Displacement activities for people who work from home...

"We're reducing GHG emissions on the rance by switching to ll electric cows."

"Whew ... now he needs some roll-on deodorant."

One man and his dog odour spray.

Woman approaches a clock with a tick and flea killer.

'FOCUS, people, FOCUS!'

Smell No Evil

'Take that thing outside. As if we don't stink enough.'

"It's like a metal detector, but it detects phones. I want your undivided attention at dinner tonight."

'Way to screw up again, pencil. Well here I come to save the day.'

'How did you know I have a foot fetish?'

"Being study buddies will definitely help us stay focused. Pay and Bea study together and they get A's!"

"That old woman is my best customer. She lives in a shoe."

'...Never wear the same pair of socks 10 days in a row.'