Dismal Economist Pillows

'(Sigh!) I doubt if the country will ever have a mood of optimism again....'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

'This boy you call my son doesn't care about investments, economy and money. I want a DNA test.'

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

Bookshop: Unpopular Economics

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

"It failed the stress test."

Chicken - "The Dow is falling...the dow is falling..."

"The treasury has hacked into his computer and asked for ideas to solve the deficit"

'If America's economy is so bad how can we afford a billion dollars on presidential campaigns?'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

'I feel I owe a lot to my country.' - 'So, you haven't paid your income tax again.'

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

'I suppose if we had some money we could buy sand from each other.'

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

'...but if daddy raised your allowance he'd be hurting the economy by stimulating inflation. You wouldn't want him to do that, would you?'

'I hardly expected the federal tapering affect my allowance.'

"My assets consist of a piggy bank, 2 teeth for the tooth fairy, and whatever change I find in the living room sofa."

'In an effort to make our economic reporting and projections more accurate, our resident weatherman will be delivering the economic news.'

'What can we do to reduce our spending?'

Assets $2,400,000,000 Liabilities $4,6000,000,000 Government Bailout $2,200,000,000

"I'll look into it, but you're still in the first grade. Normally, they don't give student loans until you're in college."

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

Investments: Still Open to New Investors - 'A fool & his money fund.'

Kid's Lemonade Stand Has A High Pricing Policy