Dishwashing Dynamos Mugs

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

Kitchen Tetris

Cossack dancers

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

'You have her home by midnight, now!'

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

'Usually when a man promises me a fish dinner, I naturally assume it will be at a nice restaurant.'

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

Man with Ironing burns on shirt - "How are things going at home Robert?"

"What's wrong, hon? You haven't touched my food."

Bebaaaaaaaop! (sheep)

"We're already wondering what her legacy might be."

"A toothbrush with a DVD player?" "Yeah, now she brushes for half an hour."

Politically Correct Dictionaries

'After scraping my tongue, flossing my teeth, brushing my teeth, whitening my teeth and gargling, I'm hungry all over again!'

Now that the last child had finally left for college, Dot and Neville went through the usual 'empty nest' grieving process.

Two dancers in bejeweled suits and flat caps

'Rabbit stew again?' ( MAGICIANS HAT ON STOVE)

"The boss started me on the bottom. Not in the mail room, but in the office cafeteria washing dishes."

'World peace? No -- but we've brought you some very advanced dishwashing detergents!'

The Takeaway.

"Did I say cute? I meant you look like the creator of the political philosophies of passive resistance and constructive nonviolence."

'Sorry, Joe -- our only hope is to have Neil Kinnock debate her.'

"When I told the robot vacuum company how many pets and kids I have, they sent me this."

The Backslider Bar.

'Mom, how old was I when dad first hired you to do all this stuff around the house?'

"They'd stop if we told them rap was poetry."

'His dad must be an oil executive. He's wearing double-hulled diapers.'

The Shock Jock - My Commentary Offends All Groups Without Regard to Race, Gender, Religion.

'What aren't we eating today, my love?'

"It's only fair to warn you, I've joined the Union Of Dishwashers."

"Right! Let's break for lunch!. . . . Well don't just stand on ceremony!"