Dishwashing Dialogues Pillows

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

Meet the Enemy

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

Kitchen Tetris

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

"How about a hand."

Dialogue

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

"Of course, that's just my opinion. If you want my professional opinion it will cost you."

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

'The trouble with Nigel is that he's so changeable. One minute I love him and the next minute I loathe him.'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

A lesson in wit

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.

"You might be poor and ugly but you're the only one who didn't blather about politics and climate change after ten minutes. What's your name? Marry me!"

"Oh, that reminds me of this article I barely remember."

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

'I wish somebody would say something.'

"I find it a very good conversation starter."

'Sorry, what was that?'

'And what do you do for a living Gary?' 'I'm a Puppeteer.'

'you should know my wife thinks I'm stupid.'

'Oh, that is so simplistic. Why must you always see the world in black and white?'