Disgruntled Lab Partner Pillows

"Not everyone's cut out to be a mad scientist - maybe you're just meant to be a slightly disgruntled lab technician."

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Biologists often consult with microbiologists.

"Hey, at least you got a severance package."

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

'I'm inventing an acid that eats through anything.'

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

"At this point, we know it's addictive."

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade wine?'

"Stop being creative and discover something already."

'Great chemistry.'

"Maybe Earth's primordial soup did contain polyester."

'Hey, guys, come over here. I just discovered the telescope.'

'Human clinical trials start in six months. Sooner if we run out of mice.'

Quantum Mechanics.

'Are you our new glue-ru?'

Hazardous substance - ignitable, corrosive, reactive, toxic, real smelly, yucchy.

"Another advantage of genetic engineering: viruses you can see."

'More or less?'

"Admittedly, our research went astray but getting more funding should be easier now."

Scientific Tea.

The take your mother to work program.

Eureka or else! The management

"Oh, not bad, except that the entomologists keep bugging me."

"Some clean room - there's a fly in my potassium nitrate."

Nature Scents Research Department.

Lab rat at bar after work: 'No, seriously. I'm in medicine. Cutting edge stuff. I work in a lab downtown.'

'Well, now that you've found a cure, all our funding will be sent to another division.'

"Biggest damn virus I've ever seen."

"Have you dined with us before?"

'..A new method of extracting money from purses.'

'We took some DNA from a woolly mammoth hair, and all we got from it was some more woolly mammoth hair.'

'Gee! I think we have the new sex-pill!'