Disgruntled Lab Partner Pillows

"Not everyone's cut out to be a mad scientist - maybe you're just meant to be a slightly disgruntled lab technician."

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Biologists often consult with microbiologists.

"Hey, at least you got a severance package."

'I'm inventing an acid that eats through anything.'

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

"At this point, we know it's addictive."

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

Working On Silly String Theory.

'Great chemistry.'

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade wine?'

"Stop being creative and discover something already."

'Hey, guys, come over here. I just discovered the telescope.'

"Maybe Earth's primordial soup did contain polyester."

'Human clinical trials start in six months. Sooner if we run out of mice.'

'Are you our new glue-ru?'

Quantum Mechanics.

Hazardous substance - ignitable, corrosive, reactive, toxic, real smelly, yucchy.

'More or less?'

"Another advantage of genetic engineering: viruses you can see."

"Admittedly, our research went astray but getting more funding should be easier now."

Scientific Tea.

Nature Scents Research Department.

"Some clean room - there's a fly in my potassium nitrate."

"Oh, not bad, except that the entomologists keep bugging me."

I understand about the body parts, but did you have to put me in hand-me-down clothes?!

Eureka or else! The management

The take your mother to work program.

Lab rat at bar after work: 'No, seriously. I'm in medicine. Cutting edge stuff. I work in a lab downtown.'

"Have you dined with us before?"

'Well, now that you've found a cure, all our funding will be sent to another division.'

"Biggest damn virus I've ever seen."

'..A new method of extracting money from purses.'

'We took some DNA from a woolly mammoth hair, and all we got from it was some more woolly mammoth hair.'