Disease Dramatist Pillows

'I'll see your Bubonic Plague and raise you a severe case of Leprosy.'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'Don't panic, folks! It's red ink, not blood!

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

'Medical researcher have isolated the gene that makes us want to discuss our ailments with anyone we meet.'

'... and I almost want to thank my pharmacist.'

"It was touch and go for a while, but he's out of the woods now!"

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

'My client's defense is that the bank was an attractive nuisance.'

"Well, Phil, after years of vague complaints and imaginary ailments, we finally have something to work with."

"Nothing beats the thrill of operating beyond one's competence."

Stretcher Header.

"I'll consider your proposal, but first I need a second opinion from your ex-wife."

You've got henmania

To be or not to be?

"Don't be so dramatic, you've only got a cold!"

"We located your chart...It was filed under 'P' for pain in the butt!"

'One day, this will make a wonderful metaphor.'

"... Have you passed?... Well, just let me move these five traffic violation tickets that you picked up, out of the way and I'll check your score."

Cold Remedies

"I don't suppose you could settle up before you go?"

Have I told you about my operation?

"Universal healthcare? Yes! I believe everyone has the right to all the healthcare I can bill them for."

'I'm the real thing. I'm FROM the West Nile.'

Mad cow complaining about foot and mouth

'You really ought to do something about that leprosy, Walter.'

'My client woulkd like to change his 'Mea Culpa' to ' Was I really that bad?''

"Carriers are all we can be! La di da di de-e-e!"

"It's people like you, Mr. Evers, constantly living beyond your means, getting so hopelessly deeper and deeper into debt, to whom our industry owes eternal gratitude."

"Oh no. It's my ex with his new girlfriend. I'd hate him to see how desperate I've become."

"Do you think your big lottery win's going to change your life at all, dear?"

"May I have the ring back?"

"Of course we should have women boxers in Britain...I mean, where else can they do panto?!"

"He had just paid off his student loan."