Injury Dramatist Pillows

Stretcher Header.

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

Basketball injuries.

'Don't panic, folks! It's red ink, not blood!

'Said he was fixing the ceiling fan. . .'

Out of Court Settlement

'... and I almost want to thank my pharmacist.'

"It was touch and go for a while, but he's out of the woods now!"

'It's an old work injury.'

'My client's defense is that the bank was an attractive nuisance.'

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

'I tried to slam a revolving door.'

"Nothing beats the thrill of operating beyond one's competence."

To be or not to be?

'One day, this will make a wonderful metaphor.'

'He should be okay, it's just a little tap on the head.'

'Chainsaw Championships.'

'Very funny!'

"I don't suppose you could settle up before you go?"

'I'm on the back stretch, about halfway down...I think it's a pulled hamstring.'

Pitchers arm falls off.

Football Drama Coach

'It's his ankle - get some ice!!'

'No I won't kiss it better!'

Have I told you about my operation?

'Those with center seats in the jury box are always the last to arrive.'

Judge flipping a coin.

'I'll see your Bubonic Plague and raise you a severe case of Leprosy.'

"What happened?" "I kept my eye on the ball."

"I warned him that I was a green belt in karate, then he warned me that he was a black belt!"

"It's people like you, Mr. Evers, constantly living beyond your means, getting so hopelessly deeper and deeper into debt, to whom our industry owes eternal gratitude."