Injury Dramatist Pillows

'OK, Mrs. Huber. Why don't you step over here and start trying on some of these, and we'll make your case iron-clad.'

Stretcher Header.

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

Basketball injuries.

I know they told me not to bark

'Don't panic, folks! It's red ink, not blood!

'Said he was fixing the ceiling fan. . .'

Out of Court Settlement

'... and I almost want to thank my pharmacist.'

'My client's defense is that the bank was an attractive nuisance.'

'It's an old work injury.'

"It was touch and go for a while, but he's out of the woods now!"

Career Threatening Sport Injuries,

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

"Nothing beats the thrill of operating beyond one's competence."

'I tried to slam a revolving door.'

"Where's the fire, pal?"

To be or not to be?

'One day, this will make a wonderful metaphor.'

'He should be okay, it's just a little tap on the head.'

'Chainsaw Championships.'

'Very funny!'

"I don't suppose you could settle up before you go?"

"Your birthday came at just the right time. I sprained my ankle this morning."

'I'm on the back stretch, about halfway down...I think it's a pulled hamstring.'

Football Drama Coach

Pitchers arm falls off.

'It's his ankle - get some ice!!'

'No I won't kiss it better!'

'Those with center seats in the jury box are always the last to arrive.'

Have I told you about my operation?

Judge flipping a coin.