Discussion About Kids Pillows

'Well, dear, if we did start a family, we could have tech support in 10 years.'

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

City Zoo: Day Care

I like the Jets...I guess

Wildlife

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

Santa Claus's Mail

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

No caption (A young bald eagle plays a claw game full of fish as his parent stands behind him).

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

"Look, a bug!"

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

"And this is our media room."

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

'He made an excellent jelly.'

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

"That'll be five bucks."

Updated Nursery Rhyme #27.

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"