Discount Devotee Gifts

Haircuts 20% off.

"I'm a bargain hunter."

'I'll need an I.D. with your photo on it, Pops.'

Mail order.

'Let me through please! That sale ends today!'

Shopping Torture

"This is my favorite place to shop."

"I signed up for a shopaholic class. It was a real bargain."

Denise gets offered the senior discount for the first time.

All You Can Eat: Senior Special

'We're all slimming from the manager down!'

"Blowing the whistle is perfect for a sports bar to let its patrons know that Happy Hour is over."

PoundStore

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

Thomas Hardy

"You've got computer-breath."

Person with eyes focused on a computer screen.

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

"Bonk!"

"I'll never forget you."

"I'll be glad when this is over and Sarah can be herself again."

"I'd call that 'A victory for science.'

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"Its's a beautiful day. Why don't you play outside?"

"Please turn on your cell phones."

"I just wonder if the brand name is too obvious."

"...And please let the merger do through!"

"Oprah is definite, Barnes and Noble is giving you front windows, and Norman Mailer has agreed to a feud."