Disclaimer Enthusiast Gifts

Homeville Bank: Today's High 80 degrees . . . Readers are cautioned not to place undue reliance on these forward - looking statements which reflect management's judgement only as of the date hereof.

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

True confessions.

"At least we agree to disagree."

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

Will eat your homework for $.

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

The life of penguins.

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

Bob tries to get off on a technicality.

"I'm good enough at making excuses that I don't have to be good at anything else!"

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

"Of course I'm responsible for that marketing plan, but you're responsible for how it turned out!"

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

Thank you to our awesome NHS staff

'Someday I'm going to tell you all of the things I've done right.'

Exit. I never get tired of watching them fall for that.

"Your right.. It is waving back at us."

'There's a Mr Tilbin here to see you sir. Shall I tell him you're on the phone, in a meeting, or out of the office?'

"A possible eureka."

'The Board's meeting at nine O'clock - you bring the smoke, I'll bring the mirrors.'

Ironically, it was the team member known only as 'Gur' who found the missing link...

"C'mon, Hillary – just answer the question!"

'Don't get me wrong, the Church is glad to hear your confession of improper contributions, but only the I.R.S. can grant absolution.'

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

'I'll tell her all about this when she gets home.'

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

"Again, I must remind the witness that he is under oath!"

Admissions lady: 'I don't take care of myself like I should ... my negligence probably killed a guy once ... I'm secretly attracted to you ...'

'You feel awkward? You're the one who said we ought to hunt bare.'

'Your homework got washed away with your house! A likely story young man! See me after class!'