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Homeville Bank: Today's High 80 degrees . . . Readers are cautioned not to place undue reliance on these forward - looking statements which reflect management's judgement only as of the date hereof.

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

True confessions.

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"At least we agree to disagree."

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

The life of penguins.

Bob tries to get off on a technicality.

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

"I'm good enough at making excuses that I don't have to be good at anything else!"

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

"Of course I'm responsible for that marketing plan, but you're responsible for how it turned out!"

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

Thank you to our awesome NHS staff

'Someday I'm going to tell you all of the things I've done right.'

"Your right.. It is waving back at us."

'There's a Mr Tilbin here to see you sir. Shall I tell him you're on the phone, in a meeting, or out of the office?'

'The Board's meeting at nine O'clock - you bring the smoke, I'll bring the mirrors.'

"A possible eureka."

Ironically, it was the team member known only as 'Gur' who found the missing link...

Admissions lady: 'I don't take care of myself like I should ... my negligence probably killed a guy once ... I'm secretly attracted to you ...'

"C'mon, Hillary – just answer the question!"

'I'll tell her all about this when she gets home.'

"Again, I must remind the witness that he is under oath!"

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

'Don't get me wrong, the Church is glad to hear your confession of improper contributions, but only the I.R.S. can grant absolution.'

'You feel awkward? You're the one who said we ought to hunt bare.'

'Your homework got washed away with your house! A likely story young man! See me after class!'

'I've been disrespectful again, Dad.'