Disclaimer Delighters Gifts

'Aren't you going to add a disclaimer?'

"It's so relaxing watching the clouds change shape as they drift by. You could almost forget you're a dog. Is it my imagination… or does that cloud look a bit like a cat? Arf! Arf! Arf!"

"Anything but milk and cookies."

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

Pyramid Handicap Parking

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

"Another round?"

'You won't need a desk since you'll be delegating everything.'

"Target in range. Ready... hug."

"Meditation is too hard. How do you keep one thought in your mind for this long?"

Christmas with Cats

Magazine Stand at the Pearly Gates

Schenker discovers the true essence of humanity

'These are natural and organic ... two slabs of hog's bacon deep fried in crispy batter and dipped in chocolate.'

"The following problem is not recommended for some viewers, or so our attorneys have advised us to say..."

"Does this say 'Our Saviour', to you?"

Early Goths.

Gone out.Your custard pie's in the oven.

'Stressed' Spelled Backwards is 'desserts'

I've had feedback from litigation...

"Would you say the tuna salad kicks ass?"

Harry Fent, Human Being. Disclaimer...

Homeville Bank: Today's High 80 degrees . . . Readers are cautioned not to place undue reliance on these forward - looking statements which reflect management's judgement only as of the date hereof.

"We're in trouble, JB, people are actually starting to read the small print in our TV ads!"

"What do you have that you haven't touched?"

M.D. If you really want to lose weight, you should switch back to the hook.

Restaurant - Free lunch!* *plus $29.95 service charge for shipping and handling.

The Followup?

'So, I'm deluded am I? You're just jealous because that, hot young waitress keeps coming on to me.'

Santa's Chopper

"You hired a lawyer to draft a summary of your report card?"