Discerning Pet T-Shirts

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

Barks in code.

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

Murder in Apartment 6-K

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

'The word bath is mentioned.'

Man to pets about upside down house: 'I don't care who started it!'

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

"Another slander suit!"

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

"My client was across town at the time of the murder, as a quick sniff of Exhibit A will demonstrate."

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

"Now how did she know?"

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

"Officer, my cat's stuck up a tree again"

'Get Doc Weston and Tell him I have a fever and to come over quick. We have a show to do tonight.' The talking dog goes over to the doctor's house and simply says 'woof'.

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

'What makes you say the medication I prescribed for Fido is causing side effects?' 'Meow.'

'That's the one that attacked me, officer! The one with the stupid look on his face!'

Cookie Thief

Fish Food

"I know they're treating you kindly but are they treating you ethically?"

"What happened to what cat?"

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

Dog excited watching a new tree being planted

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

Wanted dog! reward!

'Let's go over it again: the cat is out cold, and the only clue is a little wet castle...'

"Heyyy! Where the hell did you learn that trick?"