Disaster Giggler T-Shirts

Preparation, limitations of: 'It's true then,' thought Selma, as the swift Samuri assassins scaled the inner walls and raced to the spot where she lay pinned...'there are some things you can't prepare for.'

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

'It was this big. I swear'

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

"I'd like me first word to be profound, but I'll probably panic and blurt out 'Mama' like every other baby."

'I can't hire you, but I can sell you some stock in the company.'

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

'If Batman can have a batmobile why can't a snowman...'

Black Hole Corks

"I'm beginning to believe that this is just busy work."

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

"After analyzing the energy waves emitted by this pulsar near Andromeda, I believe we have an answer to the age old question: 'Where do jokes come from?'"

Confession Ratings.

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

Astronaut with his Space Dog.

The Big A** Theory

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

Medical Treatment.

"On what planet do you imagine this would be funny?"

"It's boring up here. The moon just has no atmosphere."

"You're part of the NASA Space Program! Really? I've heard that lame pick-up line sooo many times..."