Directive Jugglers Gifts

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

"We have an acronym!"

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

A Bloody Butcher

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"I never accomplish the impossible, if I did it would become an expectation."

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

"There's a conversation to be had around a piece of work I'd like us to do tonight."

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

"It's a swearbox."

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

"I do like you, Peter, but interfacing is a very serious step."

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"I'll start thinking outside the box when the box is empty."

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

'I was headhunted.'

"Remember, when they go low... we observe shareholder value and act accordingly."

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

You have reached the end of your brain...

Education Guidance

'All my venture capital is tied up in Miss Umpley, there.'

Santas Key Deliverables.

Business cartoon showing a stressed business woman who has three urgent messages on her office door.