Directional Enthusiast Gifts

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The fate of the emigrant

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"Boy, that's what I call a maze."

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"I am not asking for directions."

'I think I have found Mr. Right.'

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

One way only.

Can I have a look at the map?

Just a Smidgen West of the Middle of Nowhere.

'What a bunch of control freaks!'

Cowboy directions 'Up yonder', 'Down yonder', 'This-A-Way' and 'That-A-Way'.

'No! we're not lost! And I don't mind asking directions! I'll ask the next guy that walks pass!'

'I am not lost - I just no longer have my bearings, okay?'

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

I will not waste chalk kid...

Mall 'maze' directory bewilders shopper.

"Extreme? Maybe. But I have the best behaved school in the district."

'Dad's old school teacher was really strict. He still has to go back every night, to finish his detention!'

Right way

Funny how moms know when you're going to do something naughty at the exact time you're doing it.

"I can never remember whether children are to be seen and not heard or the other way around."

Scarecrow Directions

'Typical male: Too proud to ask for directions or take advice! Look at us now!'

'Just because you keep getting lost on the way to work is no proof that the Universe is non-Euclidean!'

"Amsterdam? Boy, am I lost!"

'Does this book come with director commentary.'

"Yoga World is two blocks past Yoga Palace. If you see Yoga Mecca, you've gone too far."

'I think we took a wrong turn at Sodom or Gomoorah.'

'He doesn't like to be called an Optometrist. He prefers the title 'Visionary'!'

"After all the effort we went through to get you a piano, you'd better practice every day!"

"Amsterdam? Boy, am I lost!"

That GPS was a real bargain!

Tourists