Direction Dabbler Pillows

Poor Holiday Gift Choice...The Lucifer 2500, Talking GPS Device.

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

'I don't think he's so smart. I had to show him three times before he got the hank of it.'

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

Socially distanced sledding

Chief Foreign Policy Advisor to President Obama.

'The crystal ball says to buy and the 8-Ball says to sell.'

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

DIY Shelves

'I can't get the hang of this cloud computing...'

The Screeeen!

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

'I don't surf the net, I just kind of dog-paddle through it.'

Negotiations over the new colour scheme had reached stalemate.

'I can't decide whether to get a lawyer or tell the truth.'

'What was the question?'

'If we are to differentiate ourselves from the private sector we need to focus on a reorientation of our client-facing interactions to prioritise customer led positive responses to intervention scenarios.'

"How can you study while listening to music and TV at the same time?"

Two men talking in front of half finished driveway. 'Your wife did mention you'd had an economy drive.'

'Yes, been meaning to call maintenance to put up that shelf for ages now...'

'He's at the 'awkward stage' in converting to paperless so he carries both a laptop and a briefcase.'

Driving school car has sign on the rear; 'How's my learning?'

'Edwards, you fool, I'm Dr.Blake - the experiment worked! It means riches and fame for me - us! I meant us!'

"He's finally installing our security system."

"I'm scanning these old photos we're afraid of losing into my computer so I can lose them there."

"Done already?" "Yeah. I'd hate to get too sexy. I don't want to distract the airplanes flying overhead."

'I hate his more-contagious-than-thou attitude!'

A knitter's in and out boxes

'I would like to be able to refer to this statistical graph, but I have math anxiety.'

Dr. Reynolds finally realizes what he puts his patients through as he and his wife look at paint swatches.

'She's system two and this is the new beta release.'

'Awhile back I wouldn't tell what I read. I'm ready now...I read Tea Leaves.'

"It's those bloody Jehovah's Witness kids again! Knocking and not running away!"