Doorbell Dabbler Pillows

"It's those bloody Jehovah's Witness kids again! Knocking and not running away!"

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

'I don't think he's so smart. I had to show him three times before he got the hank of it.'

Chief Foreign Policy Advisor to President Obama.

'It's true -- we DO communicate better in a chat room.'

"10,000 steps...just answering doorbells."

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

It's true. Some days I feel like creating a miracle, and some days I just feel like helping a dude catch a touchdown pass.

DIY Shelves

The Screeeen!

'I can't get the hang of this cloud computing...'

'I don't surf the net, I just kind of dog-paddle through it.'

'What was the question?'

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

'If we are to differentiate ourselves from the private sector we need to focus on a reorientation of our client-facing interactions to prioritise customer led positive responses to intervention scenarios.'

"How can you study while listening to music and TV at the same time?"

'Yes, been meaning to call maintenance to put up that shelf for ages now...'

'He's at the 'awkward stage' in converting to paperless so he carries both a laptop and a briefcase.'

Two men talking in front of half finished driveway. 'Your wife did mention you'd had an economy drive.'

Poor Holiday Gift Choice...The Lucifer 2500, Talking GPS Device.

Driving school car has sign on the rear; 'How's my learning?'

I'm sure it's here somewhere!

"Pretty good, but I'll bet you can't hit him again."

"I'm scanning these old photos we're afraid of losing into my computer so I can lose them there."

A knitter's in and out boxes

'I hate his more-contagious-than-thou attitude!'

"He's finally installing our security system."

"Done already?" "Yeah. I'd hate to get too sexy. I don't want to distract the airplanes flying overhead."

'I would like to be able to refer to this statistical graph, but I have math anxiety.'

"Not tonight dear, I hate you with every fibre of my being."

'She's system two and this is the new beta release.'

Toy boat on a tsunami.

"You rang. . . ?"

"Do you want to do that hilarious thing where we read the itemized deductions and then say 'in bed'?"