Dipping Devotee Mugs

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

I love my Timpani

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

'No Jake, I don't want to watch you do it again.'

'Could you guys play a slow number so my gal and I can dance?'

'Put that down your fool! It's a bone of contention.'

"God, I love this show!"

"Hold up ... where’s the ranch dressing?"

"Singing makes me self-conscious."

How hit songs get their names

"Just for once, why don't we forget the poor and blow the lot down the local tavern?"

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

"Ready...."

Weinberg's egregious error would damage his reputation forever, His colleagues would thereafter refer to him as 'the big double dipper,

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

Highland Pipe Band Drum Major

Tribal man drumming a message read by an Englishman"...and finally, Middlesex are 120 for 3..."

Those four microwave dings you just heard indicate that dinner is ready, Lance. Hop to it! Unlike some individuals I know, I am not one of Pavlov's wolverines.

'Don't drink on an empty head.'

Gym. He claims he does that routine for an hour before starting his cardio workout. Do you believe him? It's a bit of a stretch!

"I was deadwood but I'm out of a job. I guess I'm driftwood."

'Shakin' bacon.'

'Stroke! ... Stroke! ... Stroke!'

'I'm having what he's having.'

"That wasn't very funny!"

'...And the hotel was an absolute dump!'

A criminal dances for a police officer in an attempt to delay being put into jail.

"Please tell me you recently lowered the floor."

'We're trying a more holistic approach to our surgeries.'

Dive in...

'Italian, Russian or Ranch?'