Diplomatic Humor Buff Gifts

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

Cat Nip.

Grand Canyon. What's so great about the Grand Canyon?...Most of it's missing!

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

Cheeze Wiz.

'He does lack social skills.'

Snowman with Happy Face Badge.

The Golfing Accident

Fishing line going in to water and then dropping down from sky at top of panel.

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

"And would you like flies with that?"

Wedding disaster #27.

"What Genocide? What Armenians?"

Milk Bar - "Don't you think you've had enough?"

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

"I've told you kids - that's not a toy!"

"The new OS update should fix the bug that makes you want to murder everyone."

"Oh, yeah? Well, you smell nice!"

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'We're well positioned, but we lack leadership.'

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup, sir - Too many censorship problems.'

The Quotable Ben Franklin. To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals. And not flying thy kite during thunderstorms might help, too!

Bottle-nosed Dolphins.

Vampire collects bottles of blood from his doorstep.

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"You inviting me to lunch? I don't know - after all - I barely know you!"

"Okay guys you have your assignments. Let's get cracking!"

Podiatry. The greated podiatrist of all time, you say? Yep. I studied at his feet.