Diplomatic Gift Giver Pillows

'What does it do?'

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

celebrating a birth.

'They're dog roses!'

"I'm looking for a 'yes man' who can say 'no' without sounding negative"

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

Love.

"Have your people call my people."

Birthday Racing Car

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

Donald Trump Bulldozing Mexico, Canada, Panama, Bolivia, and Greenland

We have a dream....

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

Valentines Balloons

'And that,and that,and that...'

Nato Membership

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'Aha! You can tell Dottie and the kids I didn't forget their presents!'

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

'Negotiating skills need fine tuning.'

A feminist Christmas.

'A globe warming party?...Guys, you shouldn't have!'

'Don't worry -- I used a bond issue.'

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

'The farmer's kids asked me to wake them early tomorrow: It's Christmas day!'