Diploma Detective T-Shirts

'Whoa! I can see a problem already. A misspelling on my diploma! Ha, ha . . . a little humor there.'

'I have to tell you that your college degree, from the Internet Diploma Mill, raises a red flag.'

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000... Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000...

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

Marriage a la Mode - Death of the Earl.

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

"It seemed like a long timeout."

Bush farewell.

"The labor market is awaiting you!"

Morton's pride was understandable. He was the first in the Pinhead Family to ever graduate.

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

The US Abandons the World

Vladimir Putin as Uncle Sam

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

New World Order Bridge

"Please, Ms. Sweeney, may I ask where you're going with all this?"

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

"I wish I could help you, but you're on the set of a hospital soap opera."

Tonight's Lecture: Contesting the Will. It's going to be about either inheritance law or who really wrote Shakespeare's plays.

"We need to talk about procrastination."

"The best part is, for me history is now history!"

"Sorry, but you need at least a Masters to get into the Deep Woods."

Good Cop, Bad Clown: 'Ok, ok I'll tell you what you want! Just make that creepy clown stop staring at me!'

Graduate of 2021

"Dogs can detect cancer, and mice can detect tuberculosis."

Office Gossip: Your Business (In) and My Business (Out).

Bank robber looks worried, in Northern Rock bank run.

The Sleep of Reason Produces Bureaucracy

'What do you mean give the boy a house key? He'll lose it, learn how to break in despite our sophisticated security system and be on his way to a life of crime.'

Iran-nuclear power