Dino Whisperer Gifts

'He's a pretty good pet, except for the 'walkies' part.'

Bitchbark Canoe

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

Children's Parties

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

Licensed Therapist

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"No no, I said sit!!"

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"Quick, start the car!"

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

Local Knowledge

Barks in code.

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Bite out of fishing pier.

'You lifted your head.'

Canine Companion