Dinner Party Organizer Gifts

'After you' said Miss Manners. 'Oh you first' insisted Mrs Etiquette.

Another dinner party ruined by a poorly thought-out seating arrangement

Come dine with me!

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"You do like octopus?"

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

Party time.

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"Joel! Killer crust!"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

"Gesundheit!"

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'