Dinner Party Amateur T-Shirts

"I'll have the steak tartar. Make sure it's well done!"

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"You do like octopus?"

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Dinner at the Trapdoors

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

"Joel! Killer crust!"

"Gesundheit!"

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.