Dinner Party Amateur Gifts

"I'll have the steak tartar. Make sure it's well done!"

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"You do like octopus?"

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Dinner at the Trapdoors

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Rump roast?"

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

"Joel! Killer crust!"

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"Gesundheit!"

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'