Dinner Guests Who Enjoy A Side Of Storytelling Pillows

'Romano, Romano, wherefore art thou Romano?'

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

At a secluded, candle-lit dinner, love rears its ugly head.

"I just love candle-lit dinners."

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

'You wished to see the house red?'

Chick in noodle soup.

'We were made for each other...we hate the same TV shows.'

"I think he should cut a deal and invite Paula Jones to join NATO."

'I don't believe in astrology. I think that's because I'm a Leo.'

Tonight's specials are printed on the side of the barn. ? Bar.

'I'd like now to introduce Len who will tell slightly humourous stories in his inimicable self-serving way,'

"Come on now. It's not that bad. We never even had Paris."

'I've got to go - we're having the zebras for dinner.'

"Good evening, my name is Hank. I'm your waiter tonight. This is Eddy, he is our cooks' lawyer."

'I must warn you our food isn't as good as you would find in a garbage can.'

"... stop slipping up and calling Frank 'meat.'"

Lady playing with bread at the dinner table

'For God's sake, Ellie, we're vegetarian.'

"Why are you surprised we're having leftovers? It's all we ever eat!"

"The longer it takes him to recite the specials, the guiltier I feel for not ordering one."

"Did I tell you that I'm seeing a chiropractor?" "That's great. Is it helping your back?" "Are you kidding, my back is killing me. We see each other every night."

"Let’s start with that waiter over there."

'Yes, you're right... This dinner invitation from the French Embassy is highly suspicious!'

'You simply must eat at No 47! Their meal worm mix is to die for!'

'If she says I could have cooked this for half the price - the pasta goes over her head.'

The clock-side in the chimney-corner

"Well, you howler monkeys sure know how to attract a waiter's attention..."

'Sorry - you looked like you were about to say something stupid.'

A Wal-Mart Customer Speaks

"So honey, how bad was your day today?"

"Ein Gesichtsprüfer namens Ted hat heute Morgen wegen seines Nachrufs angerufen."

'No. . . it's too distracting. . . people are more comfortable with the T.V. on, Joy. Remember, we haven't seen some of these people for a long time.'