Dinner Disruptor T-Shirts

'Any way I could play through?'

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

'Oops! It's usually the devil to get any to come out!'

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Can you just recommend something? Neither of us can possibly focus long enough to read a menu."

'before you say 'all this will be yours', I don't want it.'

"Yes, a table for three: me, him and his ego."

Broken since March

'So, how did the crash diet go?'

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

Gross! Get you external hard drive off the dinner table!

"Sure we could just print out the specials, but the chef doesn't want to leave a paper trail."

'She wishes.'

"Our specials can also be accessed at www.todaysspecials.com."

"Hey, guess what we're having for dinner tomorrow."

'You ordered the stuffed sea bass, didn't you?'

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

'That's typical of him, to ruin our first decent night out in ages.'

"I've decided to give up my day to day responsibilities."

"Nothing for me, thanks."

"Must you people always call at dinnertime?"

"Does your waitress have any identifying marks or tattoos?"

No more obesity - thanks to the stock market!

The Imperfect Hostess

''Honey!...Have you seen the brussel sprout casserole I made for dinner tonight?'

'I didn't know I was going to sneeze.'

Magic to prepare food

'I knew something was wrong when I couldn't find my dinner.'

"Voila!! For the Lady, Seafood Linguine, and I believe Sir ordered the Chef's Surprise?"

"Hello darling. I may be home late tonight. I've just got two potential contenders for the, 'all you can eat platter'."

Texting or no texting?

"How did I find my steak? Well I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

"I didn't get the timings quite right, the meat will be ready next Thursday."

'Miss Jones, those pants have got to go. I can't have my secretary looking like a boy.'