Dinner Date Schemer T-Shirts

"I would like to increase my loan by the cost of taking you out to dinner."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"I'm just saying. This would be even MORE romantic if we couldn't see in the dark."

"The food isn't bad, but I don't care much for the floor show!"

"Oh, how sweet of you."

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

The Bare Minimum

"Mine says this relationship will never work out and I should dump you right now!"

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

'Tasty bird.'

'I hope you agree, sir. They don't come any fresher than this!'

"You're looking gorgeous tonight darling..."

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

"I forgot my wallet. Do you know 'Folsom Prison Blues'?"

'Not...one...drop.'

Being the gentleman he was, Brian insisted on paying in restaurants even though he suddenly realised that dating a bacterium was going to be more expensive than he first thought.

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

'The only thing better than being comped an '83 Amarone, is having a girlfriend who isn't a wine drinker.'

"There's a kind of rhythm to making money that something inside me responds to."

'You'll love this place - the best fish restaurant in London.'

"I refuse to squabble in public until we're legally married."

'All right, I agree with you.'

"Would you care for something to talk about during dinner?"

'Ta Da! A brand new set of festive outdoor dinnerware for all my summer entertaining!!'

"I'll wait, my wife's in the loo."

"Those aren't three-star-restaurant pants."

Trick questions...

"Oh, dear me. No, no – I meant the Chehalem 2006, not the $2,006."

'It's not a romantic touch, it's a power cut.'

Lady with an inflatable dinner date.

'When you invited me out fot dinner, I thought you meant...' 'Shhh!'

'Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me the wonderful meal I just had.'

'New partner, eh? Let me just run a complimentary CRB check for you.'

Late for his dinner date for the third time, Randy finds-out the real danger of 'Asalt' weapons. . .

Computer Dating.